


is ketchup a smoothie?

by iuwui



Category: I-LAND (Korea TV)
Genre: Crack, French references, Fruit salad, Geonu Is Going Through It, Ketchup Facts, M/M, My Fingers Type This Bullshit Out And You Get To Suffer, Niki Mass Murderer, SpongeBob SquarePants Is My Bias, Yoonwon Mild Macaron Addiction, not proof read we die like men, poor attempts at fluff, they're all little shits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:06:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25852579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iuwui/pseuds/iuwui
Summary: Euijoo doesn't know when exactly he started this club, or how it sprung to more than just three kids sitting around his coffee table, but he's not sure whether to be worried or pleased about the development. Eh. Growth is like, a life thing, right?
Relationships: Byun Eui Joo|E.J./Kim Dong Kyu|Daniel, Lee Geon Woo|Geonu/Yang Jung Won
Comments: 34
Kudos: 31





	is ketchup a smoothie?

**Author's Note:**

> we're BACK, bitches
> 
> this time with i-land, so enjoy!!
> 
> (I listened to 2 Kids and Into The I-LAND approximately fifty times each while writing this.)

Some quick facts about Byun Euijoo, in no particular order: he was seventeen, almost eighteen, the aunties said he was handsome, liked food and dogs, didn’t have a lot of friends, and had the terrible habit of staying on his phone until it reached one percent, whereupon he’d either watch it die or sprint upstairs and charge it. 

But this story is less about Euijoo and more about the teaching moments that spring up in the most unlikely of times.

Oh. By the way, you should charge your device. That isn’t the moral of this story, but a Friendly Euijoo Reminder.

꧁𝚎𝚙𝚒𝚌 𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚎 𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚔꧂

There’s a difference between house and home, clear as day and night. Euijoo wouldn’t be able to tell you exactly what the differentiating factors were, but whatever.

Euijoo’s house was filled with boys of all ages as they filed in from different clubs and activities to come for a “study group”. It was rowdy, and sometimes messy, but it occupied his time so Euijoo didn’t dwell on his absent parents. Not that they were dead. They were perfectly healthy and alive, just rather preoccupied with a trading business halfway across the world.

Today, a few of the most regular attendees (and Euijoo’s personal favorites) sat around the living room. Geonu, who was supposed to run the thing with him, (he had somehow registered the group as a business, and collected the tax refunds to bribe people) was also there, but his face was stuck in a grimace of concentration as he completed his general Chemistry coursework- why he voluntarily subjected himself to it, Euijoo didn’t know, but the look on his face told him to save Geonu’s burnout for another time.

“Alright, guys,” Euijoo said, looking around at the solemn faces of his boys. “What’s got us down today? Feelings? Homework? Basketball games during break?”

“Well,” Niki replied, with a dirty look at Daniel, “Mr. All-American’s genius idea for a football game-”

“-soccer!”

“-yeah, whatever, game with the black and white ball. Not only have half of us suffered injuries-”

“-don’t forget emotional trauma,” Kyungmin interrupted.

“-yes, _Minnie,_ I was getting there.” Niki sat back in his chair and glowered at the rest of them.

Somebody let out a low whistle.

“Anyways, Niki’s been in an awful mood, plus he doesn’t have his emotional support cuddle buddy with him,” Daniel summed up. (The emotional support cuddle buddy in question was Taki, who was back in Japan due to some dance competition.)

When Niki didn’t rise up to Daniel’s bait, Euijoo knew something was horribly off. A quick glance at Geonu told him that yes, he was still going through it, and would be no help. Euijoo doubted singing “Kumbaya” and talking about their feelings would do anything, so he gave Niki a quick head pat and looked at the rest of the boys, who were scattered around on couches and lying stretched out on the floor.

“And you all?”  
  
“Finals are coming up,” Yoonwon said, scrunching his face up.

Taeyong slumped over onto the coffee table and let out a groan. “Don’t remind me.”

“Alright. That’s fine, we can tutor you two. You’ve all got finals, yeah?”  
  


“Niki and Daniel’s don’t count,” Kyungmin complained. “Lucky bastards.”  
  
  
“hEY WHOA WHOA NO NEED FOR THAT LANGUAGE, BUDDY.”  
  


Daniel stared at Euijoo. “You do know we’re teenagers?”  
  


“You’re _children,_ it’s different.” Euijoo looked around at the rest of them. “And I expect you all to be proper role models.”  
  
Kyungmin looked slightly chastened. Then the doorbell rang.

Euijoo pointed a finger at Kyungmin, all Young-Man-This-Conversation-Is-Not-Over, then backed out of the room and impaled himself on the kitchen table. Geonu hissed. Euijoo apologized profusely and got out of the way of the feral Geonu.

When he opened the door, a short-ish kid with floppy hair with a black backpack and a huge container of fruit grinned up at him. “Hi!” Short-ish Kid said. “Are you Euijoo?”  
  
“Uh,” Euijoo responded.

“Oh, sorry, am I at the wrong house? Taeyong said it was 74...”  
  
  
“JUNGWON!” Yoonwon screamed, then barreled past Euijoo to tackle Short-ish Kid into a hug. 

Jungwon flailed around with the fruits, but dropped them, and a peach burst into pieces on Euijoo’s front porch, leaving yellow puree smeared everywhere. Euijoo suppressed a sigh.

“Sorry,” Yoonwon said, eyes wide. 

The kid was too damn cute for his own good. And Euijoo was a softie.

“Yeah, I’ll take the fruit basket,” he said. “Get it off your hands, Sho- Er, Jungwon.”

“Are you sure?” Jungwon asked. 

“Yeah, don’t worry, I can handle it. Come on in.”

Jungwon took off his shoes without pausing, (bonus points) and started chatting with Yoonwon. Euijoo heard another shriek that was probably Taeyong. He headed towards the kitchen and dropped off the carton of fruit, then headed back towards the living room, making sure to give Geonu a wide berth.

“Alright, guys, we have a new friend!” Euijoo said, clasping his hands together.

“For the last time, Euijoo, we aren’t in kindergarten.”

“Whoever said that isn’t getting cookies.”

Silence.

“Oh, and if you give me the culprit, you get his share.”

Niki wordlessly pointed at Daniel.

Daniel threw his headband at Niki.

Niki stuck his tongue out.

“Jungwon, why don’t you go ahead and introduce yourself?”

Jungwon had already taken a seat on the smaller couch, squished between Taeyong and Yoonwon. “Hi,” he said. “I’m Yang Jungwon, and I’m sixteen, and...uh, I like to sing and dance, and you guys probably all know me.”

“Homework?” Euijoo asked. 

Everyone reached for their backpacks and took out their materials. Was this a cult? Maybe a little. Jungwon blinked once, then grabbed his own stuff. 

“You all know the drill. Don’t ask Geonu for help, I think he’s in the middle of an aneurysm. The desktop is open, Taeyong has music rights, no killing anyone. That means you, Niki.”

Euijoo headed into the kitchen and started sorting the fruits. Jungwon had really gone all out. Mandarins, Korean pears, dragonfruit, apples, grapes, strawberries, a whole honeydew melon, bananas, mangos, peaches, and, for some reason, cherry tomatoes.

Euijoo was separating the singular fruits from the shareable fruits when Daniel poked his head in.

“Hi.”

Euijoo raised an eyebrow. “You finished your homework already?”

“Yeah, I did it all during free study at school.” He made his way towards Euijoo, and ended up to the right of him, looking at the spread of fruits on the counter.

“Then why did you come here?” It was a waste of time, but gave Euijoo the warm fuzzies. Which was lowkey weird, but Daniel was indeed a teenager (and as tall as him, which infuriated Euijoo to no end) and could spend his free time however he saw fit.

“Why couldn’t I just want to spend time with you?” Daniel asked.

_Be still, weak heart._

“You have a lot of friends, Daniel. There are way better things to do than hang around me for two hours.”

“Well, I want to hang around you for two hours.”

Euijoo hoped he wasn’t doing anything stupid like blushing. 

#whenyourcrushisrightnexttoyou#and you can like#smelltheirperfume#andyoukindofwannadie#relatable

(Wait. _Crush?_ Forget about after school daycare cult, Euijoo was going to ✨jail✨.)

He chucked a couple of apples at Daniel and told him to sort them.

“How?”

Yeah. Not one of Euijoo’s greatest ideas. 

“Well, help me sort them into the groups.”

Daniel squinted. “Are you okay? You’ve been acting weird ever since I came in.”

“I’m allergic,” Euijoo blurted out. Then he mentally kicked himself. 

_Allergic? To what?_

“Then you shouldn’t be here!” Daniel exclaimed. “Seriously, you never think about yourself. What is it? The mangos? The bananas?” He looked more closely at the cherry tomatoes. “Those demon things?”

“No, you don’t understand,” Euijoo said, waving his hands around. “I’m allergic to you.”

_Real smooth, Euijoo, real smooth._

Daniel nodded solemnly. “Then I shall go, in order to give you peace of mind.”

“Don’t.”

Daniel’s lower lip quivered slightly, (was he going to cry? shit) and he burst into a grin. “Aw, you do tolerate me!”

“I thought we established that already.” 

“So…” Daniel said, leaning towards Euijoo (personal space, buddy) “You want me to stay? Huh?”

Now that Euijoo thought about it, Daniel was like a hyperactive puppy. “Yes.”

“Yes what?”

“Yes, I want you to stay.”

“It would be rude of me to deny your wishes.”

“Sort the mangoes out.”

Euijoo moved around to grab metal bowls, and put the grapes and cherry tomatoes in. Daniel looked curiously at him.

“Wash your fruit,” Euijoo said in response.  
  


“Uh, the apples?”

  
  
“In general. Get rid of the pathogens.”

  
  
“What’s a pathogen?”

  
  
“Like- germs. Gross stuff. Tiny bugs.”

“What’s wrong with bugs? More protein for the rest of us, I say.” He leaned over and plucked a grape from the bunch that was in Euijoo’s hand, and then winked.

  
  
“When you die, I do not want to be associated with you.”

  
  
“Bold of you to assume I can die.”

  
  
“I said mangoes, Daniel. Wash the mangoes.”

“Sir, yes sir!”

Euijoo exhaled. How long had they been talking? A look at the clock told him twenty minutes had passed, and he had only managed to get the grapes off of the vines.  
  


Euijoo turned back to the daunting task of washing a mountain of fruit, when Kyungmin entered. 

“I finished my work.”

  
  
“Come help with the fruit. You can wash and cut the honeydew.”

“I, uh, don’t know how.”

“Daniel, you can help, right?”

  
  
Daniel startled for some reason, and nodded vigorously.

“How is it back in the living room?” Euijoo asked. If there was one thing he hated, it was silence.

“Uh, they’re playing SpongeBob instrumentals on the speakers, Niki is doing his math and burning a hole into the carpet. I think Geonu was crying… Taeyong, Yoonwon, and Jungwon have become a singular entity.”  
  


“Nobody’s dead?”

  
“Geonu looks like he wishes he were dead.”

  
  
“But nobody’s actually dead.”

  
  
“No.”

  
  
Phew. Another day without an incident.

Some time passed. They washed and dried all the fruit. Daniel kept looking at Kyungmin. Euijoo tried to ignore everything and bruised his finger when the bowl of strawberries got in his way. Kyungmin hummed a song underneath his breath.

“EUIJOO!” Yoonwon shouted, naruto-running into the kitchen. “I MISSED YOU!”  
  
  
“It was thirty minutes, calm down,” Kyungmin said.

“You’re such a mood killer when Jaebeom isn’t around,” Yoonwon complained.  
  


“Oh my god, Jaebeom doesn’t dictate my mood.”

“Jaebeom?” Daniel asked. “Jaebeom’s nice.”

“Yeah,” Kyungmin agreed. “He’s really nice.”

Yoonwon pantomimed gagging.

“Ooh, wait,” Daniel said, lifting a finger. “Can we make a fruit salad?”

  
  
“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!” Yoonwon hollered. “FRUIT FRUIT FRUIT FRUIT FRUIT-”  
  


“- _stop_ . Please.”  
  


“Yeah, listen to Euijoo.”

  
  
“Daniel simp.”

  
  
“Bro.”

  
  
“Bro.”

“I will never understand you two,” Euijoo said. “Kyungmin, don’t toss the apple around like that, I don’t want to clean another floor.”

“You’re so boring.”

  
  
“You’re on thin fucking ice, kiddo.”

Yoonwon let out a “oOoooooOOOoooooh” until Daniel leaned over and clapped his hand over his mouth.  
  


“Keep it down, Geonu’s in the other ro- EW, WHY’D YOU _LICK_ ME?!”

Yoonwon ran straight to the sink and pushed Kyungmin aside. He turned the tap on and doused his face.

“Hey, do you think he’ll drown if he stays under there?” Kyungmin asked, poking Yoonwon. “I can see it already… ‘Local Boy Drowns On Dry Land.’”

“YOU’RE WORRIED ABOUT YOONWON? HIS SALIVA IS ALL OVER MY HAND. I PROBABLY HAVE HERPES!” Daniel screeched, flapping his hand around. “IT’S DRYING. THIS IS SO GROSS.”

“Hey, don’t walk towards mE SHIT GET AWAY I DON’T WANT HERPES EITHER EUIJOO GET DANIEL TO STOP THIS IS CRUEL AND UNUSUAL PUNISHMENT I DIDN’T ASK FOR THIS IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!¥]2393£9£]¥{£]¥¥<<\¥\¥]3{€}£848392220€#($;&;&’$;#”

Kyungmin scrambled away from Daniel, who closed in, á la murderer from a cheap horror film. Right when his hand was about to touch Kyungmin’s shoulder, Kyungmin vaulted onto the counter, miraculously leaving the fruit unscathed. Daniel stumbled into the stool next to the island and crumpled to the ground, howling dramatically. Yoonwon continued gargling tap water like his life depended on it.

Taeyong walked in, took one look at the place, and went straight back to the living room.

“Right, all of you, get out!” Euijoo hollered.

Yoonwon made a final gagging noise before hightailing it out of the room. Kyungmin looked suspiciously at Daniel before jumping down from the counter and leaving.  
  
  
“All of you includes you, Daniel.”  
  


Daniel’s eyes went wide. “But my hand- I need to wash my hand.”  
  


“Fine. Wash your hands.”

Daniel washed his hands.  
  


“Can I-”

  
  
“No.”

“Alright.”

  
  
Euijoo watched him leave, equal parts relieved and disappointed.

He turned back to the fruit. Time to make a salad. But first, cookies.  
  


Euijoo took the prepackaged store bought cookies and put them on a decently nice plate, one that didn’t match anything else and wouldn’t be missed if Kyungmin accidentally knocked it over. If he remembered correctly, Kyungmin alone had smashed three water cups, two bowls, five plates of various sizes, and a ceramic horse his mother had impulse bought when they went on a family vacation to China. It wasn’t a small horse, either. (It was creepy, though, so Euijoo had privately thanked Kyungmin for that one.)

“Guys, go wash your hands,” he called, walking into the living room. True to Kyungmin’s earlier report, “Krusty Krab Theme [10 Hours]” was quietly playing, although from the way Niki looked at the Bluetooth speaker next to him, it wouldn’t be playing much longer. 

Daniel perked up. “Cookies?”

  
  
“Not for you.”

  
  
“It wasn’t even me, it was Yoonwon!”  
  


“Yoonwon?!” 

“Was _not.”_

“Go wash your hands, you all get cookies.”

“Macarons?” Yoonwon asked hopefully.

“Sorry, Yoonwon. Not today.”

Yoonwon’s face fell. That boy and his macarons would be the death of Euijoo one of these days.

Jungwon got off the couch to rifle through his bag, before brandishing a slightly damaged box with the words _Paris Baguette_ written across the side. “Macarons!”

“Jungwon, I love you,” Yoonwon said.

“You need to share,” Jungwon replied. 

Yoonwon’s eyes flickered to the table, lingering on Geonu. “So, guys, does anyone want to know a secret about Jungwon?” Jungwon panicked and thrust the box of macarons into Yoonwon’s hands.

“That’s playing dirty.”

“Don’t bring a box of macarons to a gunfight.”

“They’re really good, too,” Jungwon said mournfully.

“It’s okay, Jungwon!” Daniel smiled up at him. “We have cookies. And your fruit.”

“I repeat, you are not touching the food until you all go wash your hands.”

“But Euijoo,” Daniel said. “I _just_ washed my hands.”

“And you’re on the floor again. Petition denied. Go wash your hands.”

“Fine. Niki, help me up?”

“You can lay on the floor and rot for all I care.”

“Oof.”

Daniel made no attempt to get up. Kyungmin walked up to him and prodded his side with his foot. Daniel shrieked.

“...are you ticklish?”

“No! Of course not! I was simply taken aback by you jabbing a foot into my side!”

“I was helping you get up,” Kyungmin said, flashing a perfect smile and skipping off to the bathroom to wash his hands.

“Euijoo?” Daniel asked.

“You’re a big boy, Daniel. Get up yourself.”

Daniel let out a groan as he pushed himself up into a sitting position. “This is tyranny.”

“Say that again and you won’t be getting any cookies.”

“This is the singular best experience of my life! I love Euijoo’s Amazing Terrific After School Study Club! I’ve made lifelong friendships and listen to all sorts of music, which broaden my horizons! 10/10 recommend! Everyone and their second cousin should EATASS.”

Eating ass had a noun form. Who would’ve thunk.

“Gezhuderit,” Niki said.

“Wha-”

“-he means Gesundheit,” Geonu’s weary voice came from the general direction of a metric ton of textbooks.

“Congratulations, Niki, your butchering of the German language managed to get Geonu to say something!” Yoonwon cheered.

“Gezhuderit,” Taeyong repeated, snorting.

“I know where you live.”

Taeyong nodded. “You all know where I live. I’ll give Taewon up as sacrifice.”

“No❤️,” Niki said. “Only your blood will work.”

Taeyong scooched backwards a little bit. “‘Join this after school activity,’ Yoonwon said. ‘It’s fun and nobody will try to sell your internal organs on the black market,’ Yoonwon said.”

“Like anybody wants your liver.”

“Hey!”

Jungwon looked between the two boys, probably wondering what he had gotten himself into.

“Everyone’s washed their hands, except for you, Daniel.”

“I’ve decided to protest by not eating.” Then his stomach growled.

Kyungmin laughed so hard he fell off the couch, which led to another fit of laughter.

Daniel whipped off his headband and threw it at Kyungmin.

“Oh, uh.” Jungwon started, then stopped.

“Yeah? What’s up?” Euijoo didn’t run this thing for nothing. Haha, Euijoo free therapist.

“Why’s Geonu so stressed?”

“Oh, that. He’s working on some kind of Chemistry packet that isn’t due until next week, because he wants to get the mental breakdown out of the way.”

“Chemistry?” Jungwon asked.

“Yeah, can you help?”

“Sure! My brother Heeseung and I went to this science camp, and we had two weeks dedicated to Chemistry.”

“Are you sure science camp is the same level of intensity as his advanced work?” Taeyong asked. 

Jungwon raised his eyebrows. 

“Not that I’m questioning you!”

Jungwon walked up to Geonu and tapped his shoulder. After some low conversation, he sat down, bending his head over the problem Geonu was pointing to.

“Oh to have a relationship like Geowon,” Kyungmin said with a sigh.

Taeyong shook his head. “That’s a disgusting name. Come up with a better ship.”

“Jungnu is just as bad!”

“Geowon sounds like a mistake!”

“Popular vote, people. Geowon or Jungnu? Obviously, Geowon is superior.”

“You do know they can hear you, right?” Niki pointed to the two boys, who didn’t seem to care. Looking at the small smiles they gave each other, Euijoo had to admit they looked like a couple.

“Oh, shut up, NikiRickyDickyandDawn,” Daniel said.

“Your kneecaps are looking awfully choppable right now.”

“Stay away from my knees, you hobgoblin.”

Euijoo choked.

Niki went through his own backpack, and pulled out a lemon.

“Well, when life gives you lemons,” Daniel said.

“Stuff them into the mouths of annoying boys and slow roast them over a fire pit,” Niki finished.

“You don’t have a lighter.”

“Think again.”

“Euijoo won’t let you.”

“Yeah, but only because I don’t want to fill out the paperwork.”

“Don’t worry, I’ve got the paperwork.”

“Then I don’t see why you can’t murder Daniel.”

Yoonwon tilted his head thoughtfully. “Daniel’s funny and he keeps Niki in check, but he makes bad jokes and Fortnite dances. Also, he douses himself in perfume. I’ve been inhaling Eau De Impress Euijoo all day.”

“Bro. Low blow.”

“Oh, wait. Let me get the fruit.”

“Are you going to put the cherry tomatoes in?” Kyungmin asked. “Because that’s sacrilegious.”

“Well, tomatoes _are_ a fruit,” Daniel said.

“Yes, but nobody considers them a fruit. It’s a vegetable.”

“What are mushrooms?” Yoonwon said.

Niki grimaced. “Nobody knows. It’s like the question of whether fire is a gas. The mushrooms and fungi are their own form of life.”

“Back to tomatoes,” Kyungmin interrupted. “Euijoo, for the love of God, don’t put cherry tomatoes into the fruit salad.”

“Okay, but if tomatoes are fruit, is ketchup a smoothie?” Taeyong asked.

A chorus of resounding “NO!” echoed around the room.

“Besides, smoothies are supposed to be healthy,” Daniel said.

“Yeah, ketchup’s third largest ingredient is high fructose corn syrup,” Yoonwon said in a matter-of-fact tone. “What, macarons are high in sugar. I’ve got to reduce intake in other ways so I don’t develop Type Two Diabetes.”

“Yoonwon. No one asked.” Kyungmin said.

“Okay. Forbidden fruit juice,” Taeyong suggested.

“Taeyong, I’m this close to murdering you instead of Daniel.”

“Oh, good,” Daniel said, relief evident in his voice. “Taeyong, keep being spicy evil.”

“Did you know people thought tomatoes were poisonous for years, but it was really just because one person poisoned a king with it?” Yoonwon asked.

“You sound like a kid’s fun fact book.”

“That’s what I am, Kyungmin. All fun!”

Taeyong tapped his fingers together. “I bet you could mix tomato sauce and milk to make tomato soup.”

“You can,” Daniel said. 

“How did it taste?”

“Tomatoey.”

“Gee,” Niki said. “Really informative of you.”

“I don’t recommend it unless you’re really desperate.”

Euijoo allowed himself a smile, then went to the kitchen to cut the fruit. 

He took out the cutting board and the knives and started slicing, humming “Beautiful” underneath his breath.

A good quality glass dish, one that was used for exactly two (2) things in the Byun household, held the fruit perfectly.

A layer of honeydew on the bottom, apples and peaches, then the Korean pear. Mandarins, strawberries, and dragonfruit and mango on top, because they were the most fragile.

“Niki!” Euijoo called. “Can you bring me the lemon?”

Niki arrived soon afterwards, holding three lemons.

“Thank you.”

“Yup.”

“...why do you have so many lemons?”

“Always have several lemons on hand. They have many uses.”

“Wow, that’s ominous.”

“Yeah. Your dish looks very nice.”

Euijoo smiled. “Aw, thank you.”

“Also, you should probably come and separate Kyungmin and Taeyong before they start pulling each other’s hair.”

“Got it.”

Euijoo washed and squeezed a lemon over everything, stabbed a couple of toothpicks around the dish, and brought it back.

“Daniel, you already know what I’m going to say. Everyone else, enjoy.”

Daniel went and washed his hands.

The boys fell upon the fruit like wolves. It was kind of fascinating, really, the way they shoveled the food in. 

Euijoo made his way to Jungwon and Geonu, who were whispering animatedly, Jungwon with his hand gestures and Geonu smiling.

“Hey,” Euijoo said.

Jungwon’s head snapped up. “Oh, hi Euijoo! Need help with anything?”

“No, I was just asking if you guys want fruit.”

“I’m okay,” Geonu said. “Jungwon, do you want anything?”

“Could I get a water glass?”

“Oh, of course,” Euijoo said, whacking his forehead. “I forgot the water pitcher.”

“Euijoo!” Niki’s voice shouted, higher pitched than usual. “ _Please_ help.”

“What’s wrong?”

He looked at Kyungmin and Taeyong, who were now quizzing each other on science terms Euijoo vaguely remembered, stabbing at the fruit while not breaking eye contact.

“They’re out-nerding each other.”

“The sexual tension is thick, dude.”

Daniel gagged. “That’s disgusting, Yoonwon.”

“You’re disgusting, Daniel.”

“Ouch.”

“Both of you, cut it out. I’m getting water.”

Euijoo returned with the water and cups. He set a glass down next to Jungwon, who thanked him and turned back to Geonu. Wow. They had really clicked.

Niki was disassociating with the rest of them, finishing his essay.

Euijoo squinted. “Is the music still playing?” 

Daniel nodded.

“Why is it so quiet?”

“Niki took two of the speakers and shut them off,” Yoonwon explained.

“It was driving me insane. I’m not apologizing.”

“Valid reason.”

“Oh, we should time Kyungmin and Taeyong,” Daniel said. “They’ve been staring at each other for, like, the past three minutes.”

“Two steps in front of you, bro,” Yoonwon said, holding up his phone. The stopwatch was at 3:49:05. 

“Wow, almost four minutes.”

“Are you two going to study for finals?” Euijoo asked.

“I’ve got math and science down pat. It’s the history that needs work,” Yoonwon said.

“It would be way easier if they tested on stuff we were interested in. Like PUBG.”

“Do you even know how to play PUBG?” Niki asked.

“Of course I do!”

“Are you any good at it?”

“I get put on good teams.”

The doorbell rang. Euijoo ran to open it. “Kyungmin,” he called. “Jaebeom’s here to pick you up.”

Jaebeom shook his head. “I don’t know how you do this, Euijoo. I’d go insane.”

“It’s not that hard, really. I have fun with it, and they’re pretty good kids.”

Kyungmin appeared, as if Euijoo’s words had summoned him.

Jaebeom laughed and tousled Kyungmin’s hair. “I bet Kyungmin gives you a load of trouble.”

Kyungmin stuck his tongue out. “Do not.”

“Alright, get home safe,” Euijoo said.

He returned to sit around the coffee table. Daniel handed him a toothpick with a Korean pear.

“Oh. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Does everyone else have their rides arranged?” Euijoo asked.

Niki nodded. “My cousin’s picking me up in thirty minutes.”

“Kei, right?”

“Yeah. He’s here for spring break.”

“Taeyong? Yoonwon?”

“Yoonwon’s mom is picking us up, and also Jungwon. But I don’t know if Jungwon wants to leave,” Taeyong said, looking over at ~~Geowon~~ (Jungnu?) Geonu and Jungwon.

“Got it. Daniel-”

“-walking home.”

Euijoo sighed. “I worry whenever you do.”

“It’s okay. It’s not that far.”

They sat around, chatting about random school things and their other friends and the summer basketball team tryouts. Yoonwon finished his box of macarons. Taeyong stole Niki’s backpack and unleashed the full terror of SpongeBob.

Kei showed up a little early, and Niki almost sobbed with relief.  
  


“Are you okay?”

  
  
“Is this the Krusty Krab?” Niki muttered.

  
  
“Uh, yeah! Have a nice day!”

  
  
Kei was left wondering what the hell happened in those three hours, then concluded that he didn’t want to know.

  
  
Yoonwon and Taeyong left, but Jungwon stayed behind. They had finished Geonu’s packet at that point and seemed to just be talking.

  
  
Hm. Euijoo’s Matchmaking Business had a certain ring to it.

Around six o’clock, Jungwon looked at the clock and startled. “I’m so dead.”

“How long does it take you to get home?” Geonu asked.

  
  
“Thirty minutes, at least according to Google Maps.”

  
  
“I can drive you home.”

  
  
“No, I don’t want to trouble you.”

  
  
“Really, it’s the least I can do to help.”

Daniel and Euijoo watched quietly, and Daniel started whacking Euijoo’s shoulder halfway through the conversation. They said goodbyes, and left.  
  


Daniel screeched. “THEY’RE ADORABLE.”  
  


“Calm down, they’re friends.”

  
  
“Friends to lovers, slow-burn, minimal angst, 50k.”

  
  
Euijoo coughed. “What?”

  
  
“Nothing.”

  
  
“Great. Can I ask about the ‘Eau De Impress Euijoo’ comment?”

  
  
“Please do not ask, for the sake of my self-esteem.”

“Got it.”

“Well,” Daniel said, standing up. “I should go.”

  
  
“Right, get home before the sun sets.”

Daniel put his things in his backpack. Euijoo watched, feeling awkward. (in his own house. strange.)

Euijoo walked Daniel to the door, and leaned against the stairs.

He yawned.

  
“Wow, we really did a number on you, huh?”

  
  
“Just tired. Nothing serious. Oh, while I remember, are you prepared for finals?”  
  


“Well enough. Like Kyungmin said, it’s not really that important for Niki and me.”

“Still, I want you to do well.”

  
  
“Thank you, Euijoo,” Daniel said. He finished putting on his shoes. They stood in the foyer, and Euijoo was reminded once again how tall the boy was.

“You come over almost every day, why are you thanking me today?”

Daniel shrugged. “Dunno. Felt like it. I didn’t want to take this for granted. Didn’t want to take you for granted.”

“Alright,” Euijoo said, shaking his head. “Get home safe.” He opened the door. Daniel stepped outside, and stood on the porch, smiling like he always did.

“Sir, yes sir.”

“Will you ever stop that?”

“No.”

Euijoo laughed. “See you tomorrow.”

“Bye, Euijoo.”

“Bye, Daniel.”

Daniel turned, hiked his backpack up, and sprinted down the hill. Euijoo kept the door open. Daniel reached the curb and waved. Euijoo waved back, then watched Daniel walk down the street until he disappeared from view. 

Only then did he close the door.

_“Didn’t want to take you for granted.”_

**Author's Note:**

> This is dedicated to Egg. I believe this is the first Euijoo-centric fic on this website, so woo!! (I wrote this when I was young and foolish. hypegirl is actually the first writer of an EJ-centric fic.) This took about a week of complaining and several hours of active writing. Kudos to all my other friends who manage to write shit.
> 
> I’ve found my first typo. It should say #andyoucansmelltheirperfume. Also, the formatting is god awful. I’m never trusting Google Docs again.
> 
> [Join The Jimin Cult](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1e2-2k67Ou_-rorLilyIwFlOOPv6aXsUdCvYYDWnCprU/edit)  
> ^^like actually we're good people and we say bro too much


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